


To Hell In A Hoop Skirt

by hellpenguin



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Crossdressing, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-02-06
Updated: 2008-02-06
Packaged: 2017-10-08 03:40:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/72324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellpenguin/pseuds/hellpenguin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's an insider job and Dean is going to kick. Sam's. Ass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Hell In A Hoop Skirt

Sam turned the laptop around so Dean could see.  
"Renaissance Faire? Are you kidding me?"  
"Are you seeing what I'm seeing? Death? Murder? Puritans? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"  
"Uh, I think so, Brain, but burlap chafes me so."  
"Shut up, ass wipe. The local paper thinks it was just an _accident_ that those women ended up dead."  
"And you think a demon did it."  
"They were playing the part of _Puritans_, Dean, I think it's pretty obvious. Anyway, it's not like we have anything else better to do."  
"Fine. At least there's beer and boobs." Dean stands up and pulls on his boots. "We goin' now?"  
"Actually, I know a way we can blend in. And, you're not going to like it."

***

"Seriously, Sammy, I'm going to kill you." Dean smooths his skirt.  
"We've done worse."  
"Worse than dressing up like two Puritan women? _Samantha?_"  
"Remember that time, _Dinah_, when we had to dress like school mascots?"  
"Yeah, man, but at least there were cheerleaders that time. And I didn't have to wear a fucking _hoop skirt_. What bothers me is that you're so damn comfortable with this."  
Sam shifts. "Am not."  
"What the hell did you get up to at college that has _you_ convincing _me_ that it's okay to wear a dress? You're more of a girl that I give you credit for."  
"Dude, shut up, Lady McKenna is coming over."  
The squat, imposing woman with a giant cross necklace stops a few feet away from them, flanked by two Puritan men with curling grey hair.  
"Lady Samantha and Lady Dinah? May I introduce thy husbands, Reverend Thomas Smith and Master Sid Dulaney." Thomas takes Sam's arm as Sid takes Dean's arm.  
Sam and Dean meet each others' revolted gazes before Thomas leads Sam away.

***

Sam and Dean sit on bales of hay at the exit of the park, both covered in smoke and dirt.  
"Dude, how the hell did that bitch not attack me? I wasn't able to find any salt."  
The body of the formerly-possessed Lady McKenna is at their feet.  
Sam starts laughing, weary but amused. He lifts up the hem of Dean's skirt.  
"I'm not that easy, Sammmy, what are you doing?"  
Sam points to the hoop skirt. Dean looks closely.  
"Holy shit, is that-"  
"Salt. In the iron bones of the skirt."  
"So this thing is like a portable Salt circle?"  
"Plus iron for extra protection."  
"No wonder it was so fucking heavy. Felt like I was wearing Plymouth Rock."  
"Too bad we can't have one all the time."  
Dean stares at Sam.  
"What?" Sam narrows his eyes.  
"Are you telling me you think it'd be cool if we had a SKIRT all the time?"  
"Shut up!"  
"You really are a girl, man. _Samantha_."  
Sam stands up. "Fuck you, jerk," ("Bitch," comes the reply) but there's no real heat in it. He starts to walk back to the car. Dean hoists himself up from the bale and tries to follow him, but his iron skirt slows him down.  
"Sammy, get this fucking thing off of me!"  
Sam turns around and there's a flash of light. It takes Dean a heartbeat to realize it was a camera flash bulb and another to start shouting.  
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU. AND BRING YOU BACK AS A ZOMBIE SO I CAN KILL YOU AGAIN, Sam! Give me the fucking camera or I'm playing Led Zeppelin on repeat for the next week! Sam!"  
Sam stops laughing long enough to shout something about the 'internet' and 'wallet pictures' and then Dean's stripping and lunging after his brother in his chemise and bloomers.  
There's another flash.


End file.
